next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
