whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
