I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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