It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
