whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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