I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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