Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
