So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
