ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
