Only a mothe r could love this liver
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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