Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
