im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
well you can't waste a boner
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
