So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
