Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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