The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
