evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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