just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
