Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize