I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize