You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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