That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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