Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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