Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
