Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
