you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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