She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
