yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
