My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
