did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
