DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
