What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
