you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
