I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
