Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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