hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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