I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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