if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
