Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
