I forgot how hot balto sounded
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
