Having a random hookup so left but love u
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
