I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize