4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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