I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize