I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
please come you make the beer taste better
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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