i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
