He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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