id be glad to
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
