Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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