what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
