Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
