Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Who died my cat blue again?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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