Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
