What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
