I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize