I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
