He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
