You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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