it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize