Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
