There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
