Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
