It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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