that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
