girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
