We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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