living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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